I thought I’d come out of it as I went in—
strong, quick to get my life back, as I tried
so completely for so long to ease your
old age living here, with pandemic picnics
at Basin Pond, or drives through Pinkham Notch
so you could tell me once again how you
got your Model A either down or up to get home
then back to college with no money, gas
or clutch or how you fished for native trout
along Wild River and up Moriah Brook.
What happened was I just kept getting older
and more afraid of what being old alone
would feel like and friends kept telling me
I had to do for me, not you, so hard
to wash or dress or move. Now here
at the end that I tried to stop but couldn’t,
I know the cost of what I did and know
I would be glad to pay that and more
and more again.
Smoky Quartz 